Positive Parenting can offer all parents effective parenting tools and strategies that will benefit families of infants, school age children, and teenagers alike. You may be wondering what positive parenting really is so let’s explain some of the more general concepts of this parenting method especially as it relates to raising teenagers.
Professionals use these research and skill-based educational materials known as positive parenting to educate parents on difficult topics such as effective ways to nurture and discipline their children including difficult adolescents.
Positive Parenting help parents meet challenges, and find positive solutions to complex situations.
As devoted parents, we all want to have a healthy impact on our teens and help them to grow up feeling nurtured, safe, and cared for. Finding ways to use positive parenting is something that concerns nearly all mothers and fathers. But with our hectic lives and our own “grown-up problems,” how do we do this effectively?
How can we be an effective disciplinarian and a caregiver for our youngsters as they work their way through their difficult teenage years?
One part of the answer is to seek the best, illuminate the positive, and to find the grain of goodness in every situation you encounter with your child. This has become known as positive parenting.
The underlying principle here is that every situation that arises with your teen is perfect, even at its most troublesome point. Every situation has a positive side. Therefore, positive parenting begins with desiring to find the positive in any situation.
Not easy, for sure especially during the teenage years! But it really can be done when you put positive parenting to good use.
Take a simple and common conflict for instance: You and your two teenagers are in the car. One teen wants to go to one place; one wants to go somewhere else.
Bickering starts. It soon turns into fighting. What do you do? How do you choose where to go without making one teen feel hurt and neglected?
Positive parenting begins with surrender and neutrality, so a large part of the answer is to first see the fight as an opportunity for you to practice “surrender in the midst of chaos.” Every fight and every squabble are mini teachers for you to learn to be a true and strong middle ground.
So don’t say to yourself: “Oh no, they’re at it again!” Instead, embrace the fight. See it as a chance for you to become more solid, more capable, and more instrumental as a parent. See it as a welcome invitation to practice all your positive parenting skills.
The fight is not a problem unless you make it one. In fact, try not to even call it a fight. Perhaps you could call it a “parenting skills enhancer.” Switch the label in your mind.
Positive parenting begins in you. This positive outlook is where your actions must flow.
Naturally, you are going to have to take action. You must be the referee for your two bickering kids. This is to be expected. But if you are not fighting their fight by judging it, you will be far more effective in helping them find the solution.
Keep your intent on positive parenting by listen to your teens. Let each one speak their mind. Give each one a chance to really be heard.
And remember, all parents try to do their best. However, the best of intentions don’t always produce the best results. Dr. Jane Nelsen, an experienced psychologist, educator, and mother, believes that children misbehave when they feel thwarted in their need to belong and in their need for love and attention.
So, let each teen feel as if they are being seen, heard and acknowledged. You will be a far better guide if you are calm in yourself. And the only way to do that is to not take sides, to feel alert and to stay centered and focused.
Teach your youngsters by way of example. Be the solution, instead of seeking it, and soon you will find squabbles will feel much more entertaining, rather than feeling like unwanted nuisances.
When you use a traditional authoritative approach, such as using phrases like “Because I said so!”, this will only lead to more rebellious behavior especially when dealing with adolescents.
Instead, parents need to use the basic principles of positive parenting that bring them and their children closer.
Parents who use kindness and firmness to teach life skills will encourage self-respect, self-discipline, cooperation, good behavior, and problem-solving skills in their children. What could be more rewarding than to have these become the result of your new found positive parenting skills?