Many self-cutters have claimed they turned to self cutting because they felt isolated or alone, as though they couldn’t talk to anyone or fit into their own peer groups. For some teens, self-cutting is seen as a method of self-control or a way of relieving stress, tension, anger or many other negative feelings.
In other cases, self-cutting could be associated with a stressful situation or event. In cases such as this, the teen has shut down painful feelings and has become numb to feeling anything good or bad. At this point the teen is definitely in a crisis situation. The cutting becomes a way to feel anything, as a way to just feel alive.
One of the very first fundamental steps to helping out troubled teens who cut themselves is to identify that a teenager indeed has a cutting problem, which is often difficult for parents and other caregivers to face.
Parents and other loved ones tend to ignore the warning signs, wanting desperately to believe the cuttings were just an accident or a stage the child will outgrow. This happens not because parents don’t want to help their teens but because the alternative idea that they have a teen in crisis is too painful to face.
Once it has been determined that a teen actually is a self cutter the next step is to determine their particular reasons for the self-cutting.
The Reasons For Self-Injury
Many people believe that teens who cut themselves are doing it simply for the attention but in all actuality this may not be the case. Yes,in some instances, it’s possible that it really is a cry for help or a request for attention. However, doctors and specialists regard it more often as an unhealthy coping mechanism.
There are even instances where stress caused by traumatic events can lead to an attempt to repeat the pain or to re-experience strong feelings, which can then lead teens in such a crisis to harming themselves.
In other words, teens who cut themselves do so when they haven’t developed a healthy way of dealing with problems, whatever those problems may be, and therefore resort to self-injury.
An Unhealthy Way To Take Control
So, we have determined that self-cutting is psychologically seen by the teenager as a way to cope with problems or as a means of taking back control in a crisis situation. We as adults can logically see that it’s an unhealthy way to cope but teens who cut themselves don’t see any other option.
Throughout all of our daily lives, stress from certain situations builds up, and as this stress builds the emotional tension also grows and grows. Many people with healthy coping mechanisms in place find release for these types of tension by talking their problems over with other people, physically releasing it through some form of exercise or other physical activity, and some even use guided imagery or meditation techniques.
However, not all teenagers have developed these skills or have even been taught how to use these healthy coping methods yet. In these instances, the tension gets too much and teens in crisis who cut themselves often see self-harm as the only solution to their problem.
Of course, self-cutting can sometimes be associated with other mental health problems, such as depression, bipolar disorder or post traumatic stress disorder so all teens who cut themselves need to be properly diagnosed by professionals to determine the severity of the problem and the exact treatment they will need.
Self-Injury Does Not Treat The Cause, It Only Masks The Symptoms
Although parents would like to believe it, teens who cut themselves are not likely to miraculously stop doing so. Even though many adolescents learn to understand that cutting is harmful, the self-harm still masks some unwanted feelings or pain and that masking effect is sometimes a desirable one as far as the teen is concerned and therefore hard for the teen to let go of.
However, the emotional relief teens feels from the self-cutting are only short lived because they aren’t actually treating the cause of the problem in the first place they are only masking the symptoms of the crisis they are faced with so there is a strong need to repeat the self cutting again and again.
The Physical Risks Of Self-Cutting
Remember, teens who cut themselves are trying to relieve negative feelings, but there actually are physical risks associated with this self harming behavior. Although most self-cutters don’t intend to cause themselves lasting physical damage and they also don’t intend to continue cutting themselves, both can easily happen. Deep cuts or infection are not uncommon and can lead to treatment or even hospitalization in some cases.
An Attempt To Fit In
As talk about self-cutting becomes more commonplace between teenage boys and girls, it is possible that the practice itself will become more common. There already have been cases of teenagers cutting themselves in order to fit in with close friends who do the same thing.
Self-Injury In Troubled Teens
Troubled teenage girls are the most prone to self-cutting but it’s also becoming more common among troubled teenage boys.
The signs of self-cutting in most cases are fairly easy to spot, and even if you don’t see the physical injuries or scars you should notice changes in your adolescents behavior.
Cutting is a destructive and sometimes in rare cases even a fatal method of controlling one’s emotions, dealing with emotional pain or even fitting in. Regardless of the reason that your teens are in crisis, the risks are very real so unless the emotional or mental cause of the problem is treated, the self-injury is not likely to stop. Therefore, it’s imperative that teens who cut themselves get help as soon as possible.
I am 19 I have been cutting myself since I was 13 I hate when people keep saying stuff on the enternet about the teens that do need the attention or we do it for help no we dont we do it because it lets us help our selfs if we wanted the help we would of asked for it noisy people need to stay out of my buisness…… I dont need anyones help im doing fine the way i am…
Hi Heidi,
I do believe what you say about it not always being a way to get attention…
“Many people believe that teens who cut themselves are doing it simply for the attention but in all actuality this may not be the case.”
However, Thinking that cutting yourself is a healthy way to help yourself is a confusing concept. Can you help us understand how hurting yourself by cutting your own precious body is actually helping you? Isn’t there some other way to help yourself, as you say, other than harming your own body in the process?
Sometimes we develop methods of coping with problems as a child that seem to be the only way available to us. But when we reach adulthood, we need to question these coping mechanisms that may really be more harmful then helpful. Just consider the possibility that just maybe there is another way that might be just as helpful and not harmful to you at the same time.
i am 16 and i have been cutting since i was 12. everything that hurts me or beings me pain is kept hidden i never show how i am feeling to anyone. i hide everything with a smile like everything is fine. that only makes me cut even more and more.
Simple,
Hiding your feels doesn’t make them go away. It just means that they need to find another way to get released. And the worst thing is that buried feelings don’t usually find a healthy outlet. You need to find someone that you can talk to about those feelings and learn ways to deal with them more effectively.
Hurting yourself with buried feelings only creates more buried feels of pain that will need to eventually find a way out as well. Stuffing problems and pain only creates a vicious circle that gets more and more difficult to break the longer you continue such an unhealthy way of dealing with it.
i am 18 and iv been cutting my self since i was 13,it was worse before because i use to do it everyday i had no other method of dealing with the trauma of losing a loved one.now it mostly happens when am feeling really depressed or i cnt take the emotional pain am in at the moment.with out cutting my self i feel empty numb and weak like something is draining me of life,but once iv cut my self,i forget everything for that brief period of time….
How do you help a pre-teen who cuts, and her parent knows about it but won’t seek help for her? I believe she suffers from depression, suicidal thoughts, and past abuse. She is a friend of my daughter, and she made her promise not to tell anyone, but she told me and now I feel like I have to do something. But I don’t know what to do without causing her to lose trust in my daughter.
i cant believe that some people do this. they need to know there there are people there for them and they are not alone. they are going to get themselfs killed doing this because sometime you can stop the bleeding and you will die form blood loss. all of the cutters out there who are reading this need to know there there are people out there if you want to get help. but you have to come to us we cant come to you. this is also affecting you parents because if you think they dont know they no just by the scars that are on your arms, legs, or anywhere else on your body. so please if you are cutting yourself you are in need of some help so i am here to help you find it. i would appreciate of you hold off on cutting yourself untill we meet but please. your not obnly hurting yourself but other people that love you are being affected by it too. i would greatly advise you to get some seriouse help. thanks you for your time.
If you know of someone that is cutting herself it’s important to contact your local Child and Family Services or protection department. You can give information about your concern to them and in most cases do so anonymously. This way the authorities can look into the situation and help the girl get the help she needs.
it’s also possible to report your concerns to a counselor or even teacher at the school and they can then be aware of the situation and watch for signs as well.
My question is about the effects of having a teen who cuts on the parents. How can the parents deal with their own feelings about this? I know there are support groups yet what else can be done?
I’m 12,almost 13 and have been cutting.I don’t get why people give a care if I cut or not.I could go out and get myself killed drinking,smoking,and doing drugs.My friends have fun doing that but I don’t,I cut instead.I’m WAY less likely to die yet people hate it.Want it to stop,simple,it’s called death.Leave us who cut alone!!We don’t have a problem.It’s our way of making things better at least a lil bit!