Most parents dread facing the prospect of problems with teenagers as their children reach the adolescent years. Many adults still remember their own teenage years and therefore anticipate having to deal with similar issues with their own kids. Or perhaps their teen years passed by rather mildly but they knew friends who gave their parents a really rough time. All of these thoughts about our own past go through our minds as our children enter the adolescent phase and remind us of what we may be up against.
However, most parents convince themselves that they will do things differently and hopefully bypass this oftentimes traumatic time period. And yes, developing good parenting skills will come in quite handy when it comes to problems with teenagers and will help you and your teen weather the storms in much better shape than otherwise.
Problems with Teenagers Aren’t Necessarily the Same
But do keep in mind, all kids are different and all situations are unique. And due to this one fact alone, the best parenting in the world still might not be enough to solve all of the problems with teenagers that you could end up being faced with. This means it will take good parenting skills, much fortitude and the willingness to seek outside help or advice if things do get out of control.
And let’s not forget the most important ingredient of all, which is humility. Admitting that just maybe you aren’t always right and that perhaps you might have made a mistake will get you further when it comes to facing your problems with your particular teenager than you can ever imagine. Yes, own up to not being perfect, own up to your own imperfections and you might be surprised that your kids will open up to you and share their own fears of not fitting in or being good enough.
Good Advice for Problems with Teenagers
Be honest with them and they are more likely to be honest with you. They don’t want to be lectured down to, questioned constantly about what they have done wrong or basically put on the hot seat for you to interrogate. They need openness, vulnerability and someone willing to listen. And if you have the ability to truly listen, you just might be able to pick up on what is actually troubling your teen even if she doesn’t come right out and directly say it.
Instead of fearing problems with teenagers, embrace this time as an opportunity to grow and change along with your kids. See it as an opportunity to get to know the child that is changing into an adult right before your eyes. But do remember, teens need a strong hand at the same time. They need to know who is in control and that better be you. Being open enough to allow your adolescent to trust opening up to you while remaining the one with the power is tough to maintain but achieving this balance is necessary.