By the time kids reach adolescence, most parents have received parenting advice from everyone they know. Even dear friends that have never had children have their own ideas of how you should be parenting. Everyone means well but it can get quite frustrating especially since tips on how to parent are as different as the number of people offering them.
However, once your kids begin to act out even more as teenagers, the voices of parenting advice can be heard coming from absolutely everywhere. Moms, dads, grandparents, siblings, friends, neighbors and the list goes on and on will provide you with the tidbits that worked for them and suggest you give them a try with your teen.
The biggest problem with all of this parenting advice is that every parent and every adolescent is different. So, what might have worked for your sister and her kids might be totally wrong for you and your teen in your particular situation. This is the reason there is no single absolutely correct way of parenting.
Pick the Parenting Advice That Fits You and Your Teenager
The best parenting advice is to examine several parenting styles and determine what feels right for you and adjust the techniques you learn to fit you and your family. Don’t try to force your family to fit into a particular parenting style. What ever you do, the techniques you use as a parent need to fit your personality and the personality of your kids.
Taking tips from someone else who has a totally different personality type than you is like trying to fit that round peg into a square hole. It’s just not going to turn out very well. I’m not saying you shouldn’t reach out for advice or check out books and programs on parenting. I’m not even saying that you shouldn’t listen to the parenting advice coming from all of these wonderful people in your life.
What I am saying is that you need to pick and choose the tools that fit you and your unique style as well as the unique personality of your child. In fact, you will most likely find a good parenting fit for your first kid and think you have it all figured out. But then your second child comes along and you have to start all over again. The good news is that after going through the hard knocks of parenting one child through this difficult phase of adolescence you learn a lot and the next time doesn’t seem to be quite as hard.
Life would be so much easier for parents if there was one right way to parent. If we could all be handed a book when our kids are born that said do this at this stage and do that when your child reaches this point, we could all be perfect parents. But like everything else in life there is no one perfect path to follow. We all have to learn and adjust as we go.
Just keep in mind that each child is their own individual with their own particular developmental time clock. Don’t compare one to another or expect the same behaviors or responses. And when it comes down to parenting advice, remember that you are the parent. You’re the one with the final decision as to what parenting style to use. So, take your job seriously, check out all advice carefully, read and take courses when necessary and always parent wisely.