Handling Parental Frustration – Some Useful Tips

We all know how frustrating teens can be even under the best of circumstances. In fact sometimes it gets very difficult to handle parental frustration and maintain your cool calm self no matter how hard you work to do so.

Yes, it most definitely is a fact, all parents not just you get frustrated from time to time. This is a normal, inevitable occurrence when you are raising a teenager. It’s hard to put up with adolescents who disregard your rules, refuse to do their chores or fail in their school work.

You know that you’re spending practically all of your time, money, and energy on doing the best for your teens and giving them the greatest chance for success, and sometimes it’s still not enough. There are times when it just seems like they are throwing it all away and not appreciative of anything that you do for them. This is when handling parental frustration can be most difficult. It’s hard to sit by and watch them give up the dreams you and they had previously worked so hard to achieve.

However, after saying all of the above there are a few things you need to keep in mind. If you as a parent of a teenager are unable to handle your frustration in a proper manner, this unacceptable behavior on your part could have a very negative, even destructive effect on your adolescents maturity. Yes, your own parental frustration with their unacceptable behavior can lead you to undoing everything you have worked so hard to provide for your teen previously.

Teens are suppose to be difficult and it’s up to us to find a way to deal with it. So, here are a few tips to help you handle parental frustration.

1. Take a breather and remove yourself from the situation

This means you need to take a time out for yourself before your behavior escalates and you become out of control. Remove yourself totally from the situation. Have a partner take over with your kids if possible or call a relative, friend or neighbor and ask them to step in for you while you take your breather. Now while you take your time out, you need to do something that will help you to calm down and relax such as taking a walk, reading a book, meeting with a friend, or going to a movie. Do whatever it takes for you to relax and put things back in perspective.

Once you have calmed down, you can then return to the situation and work out the problems that you need to with a clear mind and more rational perspective. Getting away from the negative situation really can go a long way toward handling parental frustration, keeping you from losing your cool and help your relationship with your teen remain strong and healthy.

2. Redirect your teenager

A redirect as referred to by parental experts is exactly what it sounds like. The definitions of a redirect states that you should replace the behavior that you don’t approve of with a solution that you do approve of that is of similar value to the adolescent. Telling your teen that you don’t approve of their behavior can start an all out battle that you may have a difficult time winning without destroying your relationship with your teenager. So instead, you redirect your teen by suggesting a behavior that you do find acceptable and you know your adolescent will also find acceptable and bypass the war all together.

Here’s an example. Let’s say your teenage daughter has been spending time after school with some other teens you don’t approve of her being with. Instead of telling her she can’t hang out with those kids, redirect her by suggesting she take lessons for something she has been interested in and offer to pay for her to go knowing the teenagers she will be in contact with are kids you approve of her being with.

Using a redirect in such a way, can help to keep tempers down and make it much easier to maintain a healthy relationship between the two of you.

3. Get professional help if necessary

Having said all of the above, there are times when taking a breather or doing a redirect isn’t enough to resolve the problems and you may need to consider getting some professional help for your teen and yourself. If your anger is still getting in the way of allowing you to effective handle your frustration or things are getting out of control for either of you then a family therapist just might be able to help get you and your teen back on track.

Nobody said parenting was ever going to be easy and handling parental frustration does take work on your part but taking a few simple steps can go a long way toward resolving the issues and help you to keep things running smoothly.