Parenting an out-of-control teenager is a very difficult responsibility. Even the most well adjusted teen can at times become rebellious and have feelings of inadequacy. They may even face stress from peer pressure and lash out in abusive ways. As parents or caregivers of teenagers you need to find constructive ways to discipline your teens whether they are actually out of control or typical rebellious adolescents.
Constructive discipline of teenagers is important to their growth. Teens must learn that there are consequences for their actions and if they behave negatively, they will have to pay a price for their behavior. It’s essential for teenagers to learn that they are responsible for their own behavior. This lesson will hold them in good stead throughout their lives.
Let your teens know what the ground rules are ahead of time and what the potential consequences will be if they misbehave. When teens are made aware ahead of time, they know they are responsible for making the choice to behave appropriately or suffer the consequences for their misbehavior. That way, parents can calmly inform them about the consequence that will now take place since they knew what would happen yet made the choice to do it anyway.
As hard as it may be, remain as unemotional as possible while you’re enforcing the preset consequences for your teen’s inappropriate actions. There is no need to escalate a situation. Calmly, rationally and fairly disciplining teenagers will help keep them on a path of good behavior. This type of constructive discipline sets a good example for your teen and provides the stability they need from you at a time in their life where nothing seems to makes sense.
Discipline Constructively While Still Encouraging Individuality
Pick your battles carefully when setting up your constructive discipline program for your teenager. While you may not like all the choices your teens make, you need to objectively weigh the importance of criticizing their choices. Is the behavior destructive and harmful or is it just a matter of personal preference?
Giving your teens some leeway in making decisions is important to help foster their self worth. If your adolescent decides to have green hair but is generally respectful, responsible and does well in school, this is a decision you could easily allow your teen to make on her own. You may not like it, but it’s not really hurting anyone or anything.
This is a good place for you to encourage individuality. Show your teen that even though you may not like their choices you respect their right to make these personal choices. This can go a long way toward repairing a damaged relationship with an out-of-control teen.
It’s also a good idea to allow you teen to have opinions that differ from your own. Debate and discuss but don’t negatively criticize your child for having these differing opinions. Don’t use guilt or intimidation to attempt to sway your teenager to your belief system.
Showing respect for your teen’s opinions may encourage him to show more respect for your opinions as well. This can also make it easier for him to follow your rules on the really important points.
Be aware of what your teenager is doing and what is happening in her life. Make sure you are spending quality time with her and always treat your young person fairly, with love, attention and respect. Encourage your teen to express his individuality in positive ways by allowing him to have his own beliefs, thoughts and age appropriate decisions.
The lessons you provide by setting a good example will help your teens to become positive, well-adjusted adults. Set constructive discipline standards for expected behavior with known consequences for stepping outside those boundaries. Your teens may protest at some of this but they will be better off in the long run.