How to Protect Your Kids & Teens When You Divorce

divorceDivorce is a very difficult and frustrating phase in the life of any person confronted with this situation. It’s also much more difficult for families where children are involved because parents must attempt to keep their children and teens on an as even a keel as they possibly can.

And when your going through such a traumatic moment yourself being there for your own children can at times seem overwhelming.

Divorce Stage of Grief & Loss

All people, the divorcing couple as well as the children,  go through several stages of loss in the event of a divorce. You will each go through times of being angry, hurt, sad, in denial, feeling empty, lost and alone and then eventually realize you have to move forward.

No matter how hard it may be for each divorcing parent, it’s important to think about your kids first during all of these steps and help them to find ways to cope. If you think that divorce is traumatic on you, think how traumatic it must be for a child who is seeing his whole life turned upside down.

And even though teenagers want us to believe they are very adult and capable of handling this difficult time on their own, they need as much guidance, support and understanding as your younger children. Teens are good at hiding their feelings but that anger and rage can boil up inside and affect them in ways we might not ever imagine.

Tips for Helping Children & Teenagers Cope with Divorce

Here are a few tips to keep in mind to help kids and teens through the process of divorce…

  • Children and teens alike, must be reassured that they are not to blame. You can accomplish this by using common sense. It’s advised that you never argue with your spouse or bad mouth the other parent in front of your children as it leaves a bad impression on the child. Your kids will think that they need to pick a side, and this creates more turmoil for them when they are already feeling overwhelmed with feelings they don’t know how to handle or express.
  • When possible always participate in family events and show your children that everyone can still be friends.
  • When you tell your kids that you’re going to pick them up at a given time, make a point of being there on time. It is very disturbing for a child to think that his parents don’t have enough time for him.
  • When problems do occur and your children or yourself don’t deal with the situation in a healthy manner, don’t hesitate to seek counseling as a family unit and put any differences aside. It will help children cope with the situation if they see that both of their parents still care about them.
  • Never forget to go to your child’s programs at school. These are important times in a child’s life and there probably isn’t a parent alive who missed theses events who doesn’t regret it. Your child will remember your absence for the rest of their life.
  • Children should always be given the first preference in case a person is going through divorce so that he does not feel negated. Your actions and behaviors will have a lifelong effect on them.

If you’re interested in more information, you can learn more about my practice as an family law lawyer in Austin TX. You can also take a look at our Austin Texas divorce seminar at

If you haven’t found the information you need, you can take a look at our Austin TX divorce FAQ’s.