Teens experience a lot of transformation and changes during their adolescent years making it difficult for parents to guide their teens. Therefore, the nick name of the “troubled teens” is often used.
Most people say that the “teenage years are the toughest.” Not only for the young ones but also for the parents. Growing up is a continuous process filled with regular highs and lows. But what can you do to guide your troubled teens through the tough times they might encounter down the road of life?
To help you understand your difficult teens, here are some quick tips for parents.
Listen First…
To what your teenager has to say. Some topics of discussion may not be that significant to you but teens consider everything as a tragedy waiting to happen! To them, what they are going through is just about the “end of the world” or at least the end of THEIR world. You should also bear in mind that most teens are self-centered. They feel that the entire world revolves around them.
Communication Is Important…
Most adolescents can be pretty “tight-lipped” regarding complicated issues. As much as possible, they try to handle or solve problems on their own. You can REALLY help by simply spending some time asking them what’s going on and what’s bothering them. Most teenagers are still willing and eager to open up to their parents. This is true even if you don’t have the best line of communication or relationship between the two of you at the moment. All you need to do is take the time to make the effort of guiding your troubled teen.
Don’t Interrupt Your Teenagers…
Let them get the weight of their concerns or problems off their chest without you “butting in.” No matter how upset you might be at what they are revealing to you, don’t lose your control. You should be glad and thankful that they are letting you inside their small, strange teen world. You can improve the line of communication between you and your child if you don’t EXPLODE on them. Yes, we all know how difficult teens can be at times but do remain calm. Later you will be very glad that you did.
Understanding And Compassion…
This really is the key to gaining your child’s trust. After your teen has revealed the crux of their current situation, CONTROL YOUR TEMPER, no matter how out of control you’re feeling at the time. Express your love for your children by letting them know that in spite of their actions, you will always support and care for them.
Try not to be too “preachy” when explaining that you too were once a teen and had also stumbled upon some rough patches, or made poor decisions yourself. But you made it through your troubled teens and so will they. Just remember, teenagers don’t appreciate being lectured by you. They are already getting enough of that in school. There really is a fine line between lecturing and guiding your difficult teens.
Try putting yourself into “their shoes” and look at the situation from their vantage point. This would make it easier for you to realize and comprehend what your child is going through.
Be Friendly But Remember You Are The Parent
What they need is someone who is responsive and caring but also trustworthy and dependable at the same time. Your aim is to be friendly without being their friend. You should still act as the parent since you MUST be the one who dishes out the disciplinary consequences for their actions.
Do your best to draw the line between being a parent and a friend. It will just make things more difficult for both of you if you get confused with your role as a parent.
The main point to remember here is that you want your teenager to understand that you as their parents are ALWAYS available to listen when they have difficulties. It’s better if they realize that because of your own varied life experiences you’re the ideal people to turn to when they have problems and you’re also the perfect ones to ask when they need solutions to all of their difficult teen situations.
Get Professional Help Outside The Family…
If you can’t seem to handle your teen’s particular difficulty, don’t be afraid to ask for help elsewhere. Help is always just around the corner, if it becomes too much for you to effectively offer a solution or help them.
Guiding your troubled teens is a very important and challenging task. It’s vital for the health and well being of your teen to do everything in your power to help them mature safely through this most turbulent and trying stage of life.
The things discussed above are some of the most useful ways to help your adolescents cope with their difficulties but there are still other techniques you can practice to “get through” to your troubled teen.
You will find many more solutions for troubled teen behavior by reading, listening, and reaching out for help. This isn’t a responsibility that you need to handle alone.